Insults and Closets
by thebrokenwriter
Summary: While he shoved her he said"Shove off Haruno!" Sakura in returned copied his actions and said "Shove off Uchiha!" Then Sasuke yelled back before he left, "If I wanted my COME BACK, I would've WIPED OFF YOUR MOM'S CHIN!" Explicit Humor.


Sasuke and Sakura were bickering..Again.

Its not like they hated each other...Nah, they did with a burning passion. Their war has been going on for years, starting with kindergarten. What happened was, that Sakura kindly asked Sasuke if she could sit in the seat that was beside him. He rudely replied 'no', and Sakura then hated thought it was stupid about how all the girls chased after him, and that the girls were stupid enough to 'love' and follow (stalk) him. She hates fangirls with a passion, and that goes with her other best friends from her childhood; Ino, Hinata, and TenTen, and Naruto. She only hung out with them, and sometimes their other guy friends. That included, Shikamaru, and Neji. She didn't count Sasuke as a friend, for obvious reasons.

Now, its their senior year in high school, and Sakura can't wait to graduate and fulfill her scholarship at the hospital, to train under the best doctor in the Fire Country, Tsunade. Who also happens to be the leader of the small village that she and her friends live in. The emerald-eyed girl was bouncing in her seat every day, but then the 'bastard' comes in with a rude remark, which then sets Sakura off. I mean, when will he learn?

For Sasuke was a a 'prodigy' of the Uchiha, following in his brother's footsteps. Sasuke had the highest grades, the most popular (he resents that), and the most athletic.

And here we go to where we are now-

"Hn. Do you have to go to the bathroom Haruno? The boy's washroom is right over there you know." Sasuke said, looking at the currently bouncing Sakura.

"What did you say assface? Coming her to _hide _from the big, bad, fangirl idiots of yours?" Sakura snidely remarked, smirking while saying the fangirl remark in a babyish tone.

Sasuke glared at her, onyx orbs peircing. Sakura glared in return, hoping he would back off so she oculd eat and talk with _her _friends in **peace.**

To annoy her further, Sasuke proceeded to then poke her in her abnormally large forehead, similar to when his brother did this to him.

The Uchiha then sauntered off, not wanting to waste his time with the blob of pink that he believed that Sakura was. So to declare he was leaving, he shoved her back.

While he shoved her he said-

"Shove off Haruno!"

Sakura in returned copied his actions and said "Shove off Uchiha!"

Then Sasuke yelled back before he left,

"If I wanted my** COME BACK**, I would've WIPED OFF YOUR MOM'S CHIN!"

Sakura stood there in awe, then she surprised herself, her friends, and Sasuke overall. She went up to Sasuke, brushing her chest against his, tippy-toeing, while Sasuke stood there in shock.

"I need you...I want you...To get out of my face!" She whispered the first parts seductively, licking the shell of his ear while it turned red.

He was about to shove her off but she yelled the last parts in his ear, while smirking. She then left him while a mini time-bomb was about to explode in his system. It took all his control not to grab her, and say a comeback as well. But her restrained, as she swayed her hips back to her table and plopped down on the seat, talking to her friends like nothing happened. Now, Sasuke couldn't take it with her having the last laugh for the matter. He had to get it. So, he quickly thought of a good comeback and when he went over there, all of Sakura's friends stopped talking, looking at the male of towered of Sakura's small frame.

He then whispered huskily in her ear, "You should learn from your parent's mistakes - try using some birth control." And left her, as she stood there, about to blow her head off.

Sakura had a twin brother, Gaara, but they kept it a secret, since Gaara hung out with Sasuke and the other jocks. The twins didn't hate each other, its just that they had different groups and all, but if something bad happened to either one of them, Gaara or Sakura would save one anoter in a heartbeat. THey were extremely close, and Gaara helps Sakura out by either controlling the Uchiha, or telling her some of his secrets that Sakura could use to her advantage.

She then turned her back on him and said, "THIS MEANS WAR UCHIHA!" well, more like yelled, but it didn't matter. All the kids in the lunchroom looked at the pinkette and broody male, eyes in shock of what Sakura said. They couldn't believe it. They knew that since Sasuke's parents were insanely rich, they could probably bribe the school to kick out Sakura. But Sakura's unwavering determination and witty remarks should not be messed with. The people of the school's newspaper quickly wrote the scene down, planning to write an article later.

Sasuke smirked at her declaration, already planning to get back at her later. Only time could tell what could happen. While Sakura was a bit panicking at her sudden outburst.

She knew that since the Uchiha's were billionares, that they could easily use their money to get her kicked out. Sakura wasn't from a wealthy family, and it took some time before she and her twin could even be _registered _in the private school. But her close friends comforted her, and telling her that she could out with the Uchiha. And Sakura was up for a challenge. She then took out some notebook paper, and started writing complicated diagrams (stick people) and little notes of what Gaara has told her in corners and such. The friends watched in awe, but there was only one that didn't.

Sakura and the rest of her friends knew that, Naruto was Sasuke's **best friend.**

Naruto cared for Sakura and Sasuke, and sometimes he thought that they would look good together as a couple. The blond planned to tell Sasuke some of the details, but not all to officially rat Sakura out. He wrote some of Sakura's diagrams in his orange notebook, planning to tell Sasuke later. While he was doing that, a smirking Uchiha went to his usual table, which consisted of his friends, Gaara, Suigetsu, Juugo, Temari, and Kankuro. They weren't exactly close friends, but more like buddies.

The group was made because of their high scores and athleticism. Temari was the best at volleyball and the co-captain for the Chess Club. Kankuro was gifted in Home Economics, and Painting. Juugo was in the dgroup for his physical strength and for English. Suigetsu was there for being smart in his History classes which unit was based off of weaponry for the entire year. And Gaara was there for being the 2nd greatest basketball player, and fore his sand sculptures in Art.

And Sasuke, their leader, was there for being Number 1 in basketball and his high acedemic scores.

In contrast, Sakura's group was made up of their close bonds with each other, and not based off of their grades and sports.

* * *

**NEXT DAY**

* * *

Sakura was setting up her prank for the Uchiha. She carried her backpack as usual, but this time, she had a suitcase filled with 'stuff' for the Uchiha.

Inside it was various things for pranksters everywhere. Walking to school was easy for her, only 4 blocks away.

It wasn't that much, and it was good for the planet. Sakura was very much against cars, unless its necessarily needed.

And for Sakura to use a car, the distance has to be at least 10 miles otherwise she would just walk.

Years of just walking made Sakura have a good figure, and it made walking or running long distances easier.

As she was walking, after about the 2nd block, she smelt it. The _horrible _smell of car exhaust. She hated the smell, and usually ignored it, but she noticed how the car was going _really slow._

There was no cars ahead, so it made Sakura curious of why someone would go so slow. The pinkette also noticed how the person was pretty much following her. Then it hit her.

It was the bastard since Grade 2, **Sasuke Uchiha. **

Sakura turned toward the road, glaring almost instantly. The glare was returned, followed by a smirk. Sakura just wanted to go up to him and slap the living daylights, but she restrained. She wouldn't let him get the satisfaction. Holding her head up high, and walking ahead, Sakura smirked, noticing how Sasuke growled at her lack of reaction. She was _so _winning. Sasuke, was angry that she didn't do anything knowing that she hated cars. Sasuke sped up his black Ferrari, trying not to make a comeback, wanting to play with her own game.

Sasuke noticed the black suitacase _she _was wheeling around, and was curious about what was inside it.

He resisted the urge to ask, because Uchiha's don't do that, and that was his enemy.

Sakura strolled down the paved sidewalk, as Sasuke drove at a normal place, both making a silent decision to settle the problem at school.

* * *

Various pranks happened throughout the day, and I (the narrator) will list a few that happened.

-Sasuke's hair was filled with girly perfume mixed with Axe, which resulted in a horde of fangirls times googlplex to glomp, and that resulted into bruises from too much girls. Sakura laughed.

-Sakura's locker was mysteriously filled to the brim with various love notes from her fellow troop of fanboys, as it spilled out of her locker, making her late for class, getting a detention.

-Sasuke had the infamous kiss-me sign taped on to his back, and fangirls jumped at the chance, as the Uchiha was covered in pink and bright red lipstick. So...Much...Scarring.

-Sasuke somehow recorded 'Go out with me.' in Sakura's voice, putting it on the intercom, fanboys immediately rushed to her, and she had to explain that it was fake, but they didn't believe her.

These pranks required stealth and epic ninja skills that both parties had.

But the pair didn't give up.

So, their friends, decided to one conclusion.

The Uchiha and the Haruno are _perfect_ for each other. The combined groups came up with this at lunch, since Sasuke and Sakura were to busy to eat, paranoid about each other's next prank.

If only they knew, but they were to busy with each other, sexual tension rising...

* * *

**NARUTO'S PLAN:TO-GET-SAKURA-AND-TEME-TOGETHER-AND-STOP-THIS-WAR-WITH-LOVE**

**(TGSATTASTWWL for short.)**

Phase one: One representative of each group (In this case it will be Hina-chan and Gaara) will tell each person about the new oncoming prank. (Gaara tells Teme, Hina tells Sakura)

_"Sa-Sakura...Sasuke-san...I-is g-going to m-make y-ou trip during p-passing periods by the n-nearby closet.."_

_"Thanks Hina! I'll make sure that bastard won't get to me."_

_"Hn. Uchiha watch you back. That Haruno is going to try to trip you on the floor by the nearby closest ."_

_"Aa. What time?"_

_"Around passing periods."_

Phase Two: Put a secret camera in the closet, so both groups can see and _hear _what will happen.

Next Phase: Push both parties (This case its MEE! SHUT UP NARUTO!) into the open closet, and lock it.

_"Hn. I know about your next plan Haruno."_

_"What plan? I know your move as well."_

_"SAKURA-CHAN! TEME!"_

_*Insert pushes, grunts, sound of a door locking, and an angry Haruno & Uchiha.*_

Last Phase: Just listen on laptop during Kaka-sensei's class. he won't care.

_"What's going on there!" A perverted teacher yelled._

_"If you tell anyone, I will report to principal Tsunade and you will never read your Itcha Itcha again." A Blond threatened._

_"Fine.."_

Which brings us to our current situation of what is exactly happening in the closet.

* * *

**IN THE CLOSET-**

"You BAKA NARUTO! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD, YOU'LL SEE PLUTO!" An angry pinkette yelled at the door, wanting to get out of the horrible situtation.

"THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD SAKURA-CHAN!" A blond yelled, as his foot-steps faded, while an Uchiha growled, glaring holes into the door.

"Hn." He grunted, wanting out of the closet, he would rather _die _than be stuck in a closet with his enemy, but he was a bit happier knowing it wasn't a fangirl.

Sakura's green eyes flared, scolding him "We are STUCK IN A CLOSET, and ALL YOU COULD DO IS 'HN' ME UCHIHA!" She said this with a huff, as her back slid against the door.

She already checked and the lights were out, so she couldn't see a thing, all Sakura wanted to do was foil _his _plans, but now she was **stuck **with him for God know's how long. Sakura wanted to die.

Even though she acted like it, both her and Sasuke knew that she didn't feel that way.

After all, they _were _in a **secret relationship.**

Sakura knowing that no one knew of their disappearance, and she knew Naruto was gone, she slid over to her boyfriend of 3 years, burrowing her face into his neck.

Little did they know...

**KAKASHI'S CLASSROOM**

"OH MY GOD!" and similar phrases were heard, looking at the laptop that was hooked to the camera using internet connection. Eyes widened, disbelieving looks plastered on their faces.

They couldn't believe. Sakura and Sasuke...DATING?

Everyone in the classroom were drawned to their sudden outbursts, and looked at the sceen themselves.

Fanboys and girls were angry, and wanted to kill, but they didn't know where the object of their desire's were anyway.

Naruto screamed, completely in shock, that his two **best friends** didn't tell him.

Gaara wasn't a happy clam either, his own **blood **didn't tell him that she was dating Sasuke.

The girls were shocked and confused, wondering how Sakura and Sasuke's relationship **happened right before their _eyes, _**and it clicked.

Their pranks and insults to each other?

Were their showings of affections and love.

And to let outsiders know that they weren't together.

Everyone was baffled.

**IN THE CLOSET-**

"Hmmm..." Sakura murmured, sighing in content with her boyfriend, as he embraced her, and was now playing with her fingers, making her warm.

"When are we going to tell them?" Sakura questioned aloud, wondering when her friends would know of their relationship. She could only imagine their looks of shock.

"Soon.." Sasuke said, as he inhaled the smell of her cherry-blossom hair, dark eyes looking at the necklace that she wore.

It was a present that he gave her on their 3 year anniversary. The necklace was a simple chain, with a ring dangling on it.

Yes, the Uchiha and Haruno were _**engaged**_.

The ring was made out of white gold, the gem a mixture of black and red. Their favorite colors, Sasuke being black, and Sakura being red. His proposal was after school, on the day she declared war.

Sakura was overwhelmed and said yes, as Sasuke smirked. The couple was secretly happy, but they knew that they had to keep it a secret. They were rivals for so long, but secret lovers at night.

If only their friends could put to and to together...

* * *

**I don't own Naruto.**

**This was a random fic that I came up with, and the shove off joke in the beginning was from the internet, xD as were many of the other various insults.**

**Read and Review?**

**And please anwser the poll for my Naruhina fic 'Miserable at Best' and thanks for reading this random fic. :)**

**Ja Ne.**


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